Butt Crack, The Sucky Outfit and The Awkward Half-Hug. Happy Halloween!!!

Last Friday I was fortunately given permission to attend a party, at a club, that started at half 9!!! The idea of this outing was amazing, the night not so good. Here’s how it began,a popular soccer player in my school decided to throw an 18th birthday party. Everyone was going and I was super pumped. I was gonna wear my black leather mini and whatever top. Being me I forgot to check if my outfit options were where I left them. So 2 hours before the party I take a one hour shower due to and all over shave. We’ll call it The Big De-Frizzing.  I’m wearing my top of choice and begin to panic as I run all over the place looking for my skirt 45 minutes later I’m still looking and all I’ve accomplished is putting on deodorant and severely pissing off my mom. So to explain to you why my mom was pissed at me I have to  go back to 1pm.

On Fridays I complete school at 5 past 1. I take I bus home and wait for my mom to come home at three for an hour and then its back to work, but this day was different. My older sister signed on for extra Irish and English class after school and due the loss of a large number of keys we only have one key,which my sister keeps. So I get home break into by backgarden and attempt to entertain my self till three but as the time drags I decide to fall asleep on the patio table. I fall into that half – slumber where you’re completely aware of whats going on around you. Finally irritated, I get up off the table and its quarter to three. I take initiative grab my purse and head to the store just outside of my estate. I buy a pack of biscuits and began to snack by the magazine section deciding whether I should make the stretch of 2 cents and buy the kinda true life magazine with headlines like “I gave birth to spiders”. 15 minutes later I haven’t bought the magazine, my mum has come to pick me up and is irritated I didn’t get the keys.

The hour passes quick and my mum has to head to work. She leaves my younger siblings in me and my sister’s care. Typically my sister heads straight up the stairs due to a stack of final-year-of-highschool-homework and the prospect of The Vampire Diaries. This leaves me with a one year old, a hyper four year old and an extremely messy kitchen. I head upstairs with the kids, turn on the TV for my brother, the four year old, Samuel and take my sister, the one year old, Tianna into my room to try and make her sleep to no avail. My sister’s ex – boyfriend arrives on the doorstep and I make another attempt to make my baby sister sleep and ask  my older sister Marilyn to clean the remainder of the kitchen. After several failed attempts to put the baby to sleep I watch VD and then head into my mum’s room and begin to clean up. Me and my sister decide to bath the kids. In the middle of bathing my little sister and preparing my little brother, my mom returns from work. My brother runs down the stairs and as I turn to pick up the towel I dropped on the floor Tianna sharply kicks out her legs and she slips and hits her head on the side of the tub and begins to wail loudly. In an instant my mom is in  the bathroom attending to the baby and telling me about babies drowning and saying “if you don’t no how to do something, just leave it.” I instantly get depressed and minutes later when the baby keeps crying my mom realises she’s hungry and she also notices that in three hours I managed to let Tianna fall, forgot to feed the kids and didn’t put any of the kids to sleep. I feel like the worst big sister  and cry quietly for a couple of minutes. So back to topic in the first paragraph.

My mum is extremely ticked off I didn’t check for my clothes, irritated with my babysitting skills and disappointed by the sucky ouftit options. In the end we decide on the least suckiest sucky outfit and fifteen minutes late, we start off. When we get there I immediately feel out of  place for I am wearing black capris, a black vest and grey kitten heels and I am surrounded my girls in dresses, sexy tops, skirts and skyscraper heels. Then there’s me and I’m plain jane who forgot to wear make up. A popular girl from school sees me in the bathroom says I look good and she doesn’t usually see me out. She says this genuinely but as I stand next to this size 8 talented girl I dont quite believe it. Now that summarizes the sucky outfit onto the awkward half-hug.

There is a boy in my school his name is, well we’ll call him Justin Long because he’s cute, fun, kind and extremely funny. Its towards the end of the party before he finally spots me. The first time I am kneeling on a stool my back facing him reaching for my bag on the window ledge. He pokes me on either side pretty low down on my hips for someone I don’t know that well and leans in to say “Nikki!!!” in my ear. I promise myself I’ll get over my fear of boys and next time I see him and he has his hands kinda open, like he did, I’d hug him. As I’m looking for a quiet spot, cause my mom’s calling me, I see him and he sees he. This time he’s with a group of friends, again he shouts my name smiles opens his hands and…..nothing, I do nothing. I remeber to move and I smile and say under my breath “Hi Justin”. And finally the cherry on the cake. Drum roll please introducing my butt crack the star of the show.

When I return home from a mediocre evening feigning happiness since my mom so graciously let me go even after the events of the night, to my dismay, as i turn to close the door I catch a flash of butt crack. I turn sharply and realise I didn’t adjust my outfit the whole night. In my room, I position my mirror to my back and kneel on my chair, like I kneeling on the stool when Justin said hi to me. I see butt crack. I scream to myself  “why didn’t you wear higher underwear, a thong because you know butt crack is the ugliest, most embarrassing thing!” I hereby declare Friday a truly sucky – suck fest. This is me hoping you had a happy halloween and hoping next time around I handle my own life because “A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.” – James Allen. This is me signing off.

Its been me,                                                                                                                                            Nikki Woodlands.


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3rd Times’ a Charm.

Hi wordpress community, to dive right in, this is my third attempt at writing. I realize 15 is a bit young to start thinking about quitting so instead I’m launching my self into writing. My name is Nikki Woodlands and I am originally African but currently reside in Ireland with my mom, step dad and my siblings.  I am an ordinary, well some people would strongly beg to strongly differ, teenager hoping to release her creative side by giving a play by play of my extremely mild day to day life. So this is me taking a risk because

“Life isn’t about the number of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.”

SO if i could describe my personality in one word it would be eccentric, in other words, most times you never know what’s going to come out my mouth.Physically, I am 5″5 or 5″6 not really sure. I’m not small by any standards, I am 2 BMI points over the regular limit,  in other words I am slightly chubby,  I have a baby face and in comparison to my face, a surprise body. I am currently a 36 FF cup and I’m pretty sure they’re still growing and I am a size 12-14 on top and because of two rather disturbing fun appendages ( fun bags or boobs didn’t seem right, melons maybe) a 10-12 on the bottom, this is in relation to a UK size chart ( US = 6-8 on the bottom and 8-10 on the top) I am mixed race , Irish heritage, so i have a caramel complexion. A complexion that I pat my self on the back for every time I see someone walking around with with a botched orange tan with white spots of skin in a random location. I have in my opinion good legs and an alright ass but with my two lady lumps it seems microscopic. It probably reads like I’m over sharing but you  need to grasp a firm understanding of the way I look to understand some of the ways I think. Continuing on, I have short black hair, ever growing nails, a perfect set of teeth ( i was told by a dentist in 2007 ) and an unexpected talent for walking in heels. Other talents are singing, talking continuously literally non stop and switching to random topics in the blink of an eye. Personal traits are impatience, loudness, seriousness, craziness, creativeness, occasionally bossiness and confidence, mostly insecurity and repetitive habits.This is my introductory post and this me signing off.

Its been me,                                                                                                                                            Nikki Woodlands.


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